


Auf Wiedersehen Means Goodbye

by CWMaddy



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) - Fandom
Genre: ANGST LOVERS COME FORTH, Angst, Gen, Honestly if you have come here looking for fluff, Hurt Kurt, Hurt No Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Seriously beware of the feels, Third Person POV, Unhappy Ending, leave now, sort of character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CWMaddy/pseuds/CWMaddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a dream, another world, a different lifetime, Kurt woke up right after the battle ended. He was back to normal in no time, laughing and talking with the others. But here, in this world, it didn't work out that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Auf Wiedersehen Means Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I'm warning you now, this is not a happy fic. So don't expect any fluff or humor. I'm sorry this is so dark, but I couldn't let it go. My brain just kept screaming at me to write this and I couldn't stop myself. I love Kurt so much, and please don't see this as a hate fic for Jean. Jean is an amazing character who I see as powerful and amazing and Sophie Turner's portrayal of Jean was a work of art.

"His energy. It's drained." Jean had said, staring down at Kurt's unmoving form.

Drained. Over-worked. Yeah, that's all it was. Kurt was tired, just really tired. He'd be fine in a few hours. He'd wake up soon. He just needed to rest. In a dream, another world, a different lifetime, Kurt woke up right after the battle ended. He was back to normal in no time, laughing and talking with the others. But here, in this world, it didn't work out that way.

Instead, that period of rest turned into a whole day of sleep, and that whole day turned into a week. He was just lying there in the infirmary, motionless and limp as a rag doll. Nobody had seen Kurt without a smile on his face for this long. They barely knew him, but in the short period of time they all had together with him (before everything went to hell), the strange German boy had grown on them. 

Jean knew it was her fault. Everything had seemed to be her fault these last few days. She saw Apocalypse destroy the world, and didn't do anything about it until the destruction was already taking place all around them. She had almost let the Professor die, she was just too scared of her own power. 

And Kurt. She probably wronged Kurt most of all. The plane was going down, the winged one and the girl with the laser sword were closing in, and Jean's leadership skills had just taken over. Kurt warned her, he had told her very clearly that he wasn't ready. He wasn't strong enough. But she ignored him, she pressed him even harder to do what she wanted him to do, and she didn't even think about the consequences. She didn't think about how it could affect _him_. 

And when it was obvious that he was in pain, that he was struggling, Jean had only yelled at him to hurry. She didn't spare a single thought for his well being. So now, here they were. Sure, Apocalypse was gone and the world was still turning. But with all that, there were still millions dead, and massive amounts of destruction and suffering all over the world. Kurt was still asleep. He'd officially been announced comatose four days into his spree of unconsciousness, but that word made Jean feel sick. _Your fault. Your fault. Your fault._ Her brain told her, a constant loop of voices reminding her of all the pain she'd released onto those around her. 

Two weeks after the battle, Kurt had to be put on a ventilator. He couldn't breathe on his own anymore. And his brain waves weren't any more active than they had been on the first day. It was on this day that Jean started to realize that her friend was probably going to die. 

Despite knowing this, she still visited Kurt. She almost never left his side when she wasn't training or going to class. Everyone visited him: Jean, Jubilee, Peter, Scott, the Professor, Ororo. Raven was there sometimes too, but only late at night when everyone else was in bed. Jean heard her thoughts sometimes, when she just couldn't sleep because the guilt gnawed at her insides so profusely; she listened to the minds around her. They all differed in stages of sleep, but on certain nights, Raven's mind was the most lucid.

Her thoughts sounded resigned and sorrowful, filled with regret. _I didn't have enough time, I shouldn't have let him go. He can't be gone already, I just got him back._ Jean didn't know what Raven meant, but she had her suspicions. And these thoughts only made the claws that were already wrapped around her heart squeeze a little bit tighter. 

Charles kept promising the students that Kurt would wake up eventually. "He's just resting, children. He'll be fine soon. He's very weak, but he'll get better." He repeated these words in his own head like a mantra. But to Jean, they didn't sound any more truthful in there than they did out loud. 

Jean had tried getting inside Kurt's head more than once. Maybe if she was able to communicate with him, she could make him open his eyes for just a little while. But it seemed that his brain activity was so low that not even a telepath as strong as her could find any trace of him deep down. She knew that he wasn't coming back any time soon. 

A month passed, then two. Raven stopped visiting at night, and the group wasn't able to see Kurt all together as often anymore. The Professor stopped dissuading the student's worries, instead telling them that he just didn't know. But really, they all knew. Kurt wasn't going to wake up. Their friend was gone. 

Hank was working over time trying to prolong Kurt's life. As inactive and helpless as the blue teen was, nobody would admit the fate that they knew was in store for him. One day, Kurt wasn't going to be lying on that cot in the infirmary. One day, they would have to bury him. 

Kurt was taken off life support three months after the battle in Cairo. Hank said that it was only going to draw out the process of death. When he told everyone that, Raven was the one to lash out the most violently. 

Things started to look up, however, when Kurt had started breathing on his own again. Jean didn't feel as broken inside as she had felt early on. They all started to believe that they might get their friend back soon. Both Hank and the Professor said that Kurt's recovery was looking more and more possible with every day that passed. That feeling of hope and relief only lasted for a few weeks though, until it was abruptly cut short. 

It was nearing the fifth month of Kurt's coma when it happened. It was around midnight, everyone was asleep. Jean was just nodding off when she was hit with a sudden overwhelming wave of death. Her eyes had shot open, and her head was spinning as she searched for the cause of such a painful emptiness. When she found it, she screamed so loud that everything within fifty miles shook with the force of her power. That moment would forever be known as Jean's scariest meltdown. 

The rest of the group were informed early the next day, by a somber Charles and exhausted looking Hank to deliver the news. They all started to cry, but it was Raven that fell to the floor and sobbed. 

"My son." Could be heard through her choked up tears. "Oh God, _not my son._ " 

Everyone looked surprised except for Jean and the Professor. She had figured it out a month in, and she suspected that Charles had known from the very beginning. Training was cancelled for the rest of the week. 

 

Kurt's funeral was the Monday following his death. It rained during the whole ceremony, courtesy of Ororo. Those that had been closest to Kurt all spoke and gave their own set of words to describe the compassionate and pure boy who had been taken from them all much too early. No one had a lot to share in memories, for Kurt had only been with them for less than a day before the world became a war zone. 

Even though Kurt was barely at the mansion while also being conscious, after he was truly gone, it felt darker there. The mood wasn't as merry and people seemed to smile less. It was as if there was a cloud of darkness surrounding the school that used to hold a light inside it, one that only Kurt had been able to produce. The kids wanted more than a simple headstone by the lake to honor the mutant's memory. So at the entrance gate, under the plaque that read the name of the school, there was a newer; smaller stone sign carved with its own message. 

**In Loving Memory of**  
**Kurt Wagner**  
**Auch das Schöne muss sterben.**

Jean hated that sign, if only because she knew the truth behind it. While all those around her saw Kurt's death as heroic and selfless, she saw it as nothing more than her own idiotic mistake that had ended her friend's life. It was her decision to push Kurt so far, it was her fault. 

Because even though Kurt died months after carrying out her demand, deep down inside of her the truth still resonated loud and clear. Jean Grey was the one that made Kurt take such a painful risk. Jean Grey was the reason why Kurt didn't have the energy to wake up. 

Jean Grey was the girl who killed Kurt Wagner.

**Author's Note:**

> "Auch das Schöne muss sterben" is German for "Even the beautiful must die."
> 
> Also, sorry if Raven is a bit OOC. She's actually a lot harder to write than I thought she would be.


End file.
